Something died in me … yet i can’t even tell what it is

There's a part of me that would watch the rest of my life slip slowly away staring at the crowd and trying with every corner of my heart to find a way inside myself to be ok ... But somehow , I have to get up again ... Somehow I have to let myself smile and not fill my mind with the thing that isn't mine and wishing it is .... Somehow I have to move on from the sorrow of not having it in me to give what is required nor be contentwith what is offered ... Somehow I have to give up on "somehow" and carry on ...
Somehow .....