Hidden Pain

My past  ~  I want to forget and thought that I have  ~  actually haven't … I thought I had moved on … but still keep lurking in the shadows … 

I still unconsciously remember every single thing that takes me back and fills me with pains     ~    even just a scent of flowers or a scene from a movie …

It's silly I keep telling other people and  myself  that I am moving on when factually I only buried the feelings somewhere in the corner . That merely burying old feelings and taking on new ones never do me good . No matter how hard I try to live as normal as the others , there's always a part of me living emptily and helplessly as temporary recluse  .  When something hit me to the nerve , I lose my grip and crumble right away … The skeletons in the cupboard are bound to disturb .   It's such a painful process to find yourself in the escapist way to approach of handling the past , convincing yourself to accept this as part of your being and making urself vulnerable to a life-time of changes , restlessness and intermittent pain. and this pain may be far too difficult for anyone else to comprehend … yes ,   not even your family ,  your closest frds or your partner …