At  9 ,  I was so excited finally on the cusp of  “  double digits  ”....  

At 12  ,  I can't wait to step into teenage-hood  ..... 

At 17 ,  counting down till  I  could  legally get into a bar and officially say goodbye to “ child-hood ”  .......  

But then  ,  since when did time start to fly so fast ?!  

Well ,  I know it happened @ some point  ,  but it’s so long ago I can’t even remember !!!!

Flipping through my friends and family photo albums  ,  crapbooks  ,  memory boxes  ,  and laughing at all the good times captured in those pictures ,  the warm and hilarious letters and postcards ,  random notes ,  keepsakes  ....  All the good times seem to blend together and it’s hard to recall who was there in what memory   ,   when certain awesome sleepovers happened and what stories belong where and when .... They used to be so clear in my memory but now its like some of them are seen thru eyes with cataract and I am sad that things have changed so much ..... 

Sure  ,  I do understand that change is part of life  ~  Some change for the good  ,  some for the bad  .  We grow up  ,  we go our own way , people move and move on  ,  grow apart or grow closer .  Some are lost  ,   others forgotten  ,  some are hidden in our memories and hearts …  

There're times I can't help but wonder how some of my long lost friends or ex are doing  ,  how life would be different  if  I  had made different decisions or some things had happened differently . 

Sometimes I wonder what things will look like in another 10 / 15 years . Who will still be part of my life ?  Where will I be ? … I think about the last 30 years and how much I’ve changed  ,  the person I've become and how I became me .Who would I be if just one or two life-changing events had never occurred  ?

What if this , what if that…

Certainly  ,   I know it does no good to think about things that CAN' T be changed  ,  so now I'm learning to live every day so I can look back at the end of it and say , “ Thank God , it's a great one ! ”