Most of my public posts are purposely measured . 

I equivocate on my view-point ,  not becoz I don’t have one ,  but becoz I find we are in a time of increasing divisiveness   ~  so I prefer not to step into the conversation .

There is so much censure right now that it can feel like doing anything but choosing a side and furiously arguing is the only way to wash out the anxiety .  If you have a standpoint ,  the best way to never betray a doubt is to stop listening altogether  ~  yup , wear your ear-buds and go la, la, la.

I am not sure if history will call up this time as an era of heightened disagreement ,  yet I believe every generation thinks their core struggles are more extensive and heated than previous generations .Are we living in a more disordered , destructive , fierce , divisive time  ?  Will historyflash back to us how divided we truly were ?  It may seem so ,  but all of us only have our own experience to measure it with . Sure, we can always read historical accounts of other decades , but even those are colored with bias , their experiences only as good as their circumstances.

Recently , I have caught myself straddled between so many harshly-fought creeds . Everyone thinks they're on the side of justness . Very few ppl are able to view clearly beyond their own beliefs . Everyone is sanctimonious about something they feel is essentially ruining our world.  No one wants to confess their own fallibility , their own doubt , their own anxiety .

Vigorous ideological beliefs and stances in general  ,  do one thing very well  ~  fend off the jarring consciousness that we are spinning endlessly in a black expanse , circling a ball of fire  ,  completely blurry as to why we’re here , what this is all for  ,  what lay ahead the billions of miles of darkness.

Yes ,  doubt leads to fear and anxiety  .  To live without a solid sense of what’s right and wrong  ,   is to live as though weightlessly floating ,  not able  to  find  a  footing in a complicated world  that  will swiftly swallow the weak .

So ,  while I have the same aptitude to criticize and judge ,  I end up trashing the words that are inevitably  wrapped in a subtle hypocrisy . I am intolerant to intolerance ;  judgmental of those who judge  ;  lackingsympathy for those who lack sympathy ; discriminate to discrimination ; irritating at those full of  irritation ... I've forgotten that people don't respond to guilt or shame that if I want someone to see the way in which I feel is most compassionate toward the world ,  I must use my measured , calm words ,  to free myself from the reactionary nature of my fear ,  to modest myself to the level of the doubt that we all have ,  but are afraid to show .

I find myself flipping back to the basics , of something we were all taught in grade school  ~  it’s about showing not telling  ~  It might be the most difficult aspect of humanity  ~  to show the kindness ,  the understanding , the tolerance  ,  the empathy ,  the discipline   ...
Yes , words are actually hollow without an action behind it .  If I am unkind ,  intolerant , violent , but pouring off virtues to anyone who will listen , what kind of message am I passing on ?

If I wish others to disclose their world enough to see the perspective of other people , that means I have to open my world enough to see as well and not just to the views of those I readily agree with ,  but to reveal myself uncomfortably to other opinions I ain't in chorus with . If  I am unable to do any of these ,  I should just shut my mouth and stop being so self-righteous.

Great  thing  doesn't  happen overnight   ~  like a caterpillar ,  it takes time to transform to  a  butterfly ,   hardship  often occurs in the middle !  ~   Yes ,  fighting the good fight might  be  a  worthy  effort ,  but I  think  most   of  us   can sense that it doesn't seem like there is a good fight in our society right now . They are mostly dirty and violent aggressions . People nowadays seem quick to label other if they disagree with a teeny thing other people have said  ...  no one seems to realize there is a middle ground to react from .

Where have our patience , acceptance ,  understanding , empathy gone ? Have we lost all these basic principles, drunk on the capacity to spit out online messages to faceless people ?  Have we really lost the civility and decency ?

Even if it’s a liability to my professional life   ~   scribblers live in the space of strong opinions   ~   I'm staying soft , gentle ,  fair , open and understanding  .  Maybe I lack backbone and guts  ...   whatever you call it  ...  But  I honestly can’t see the good it’s doing  when everyone  on different  sides screaming emptily without hearing  other  people nor proposing practical solutions  ~   Yup  ,  those fruitless arguments are meaningless to me . I'venever thought of change my mind out of shame . Never shifted my principle
by being condemned and offended for what I think   ...   I'm tired of those outrage and argument which pervades everywhere on the internet .  The only  consequence  I  continue to see from the rage is more isolation and more of a divide between people    ~    but less of the things we ultimately hope for ,  like kindness ,  patience , tolerance ,  acceptance  , empathy  ,  understanding  ...  most of all LOVE !!

Maybe it’s time we go back to that , to curb ourselves , to calm the firstreaction . Maybe we should all take a deep breath ,  a pause ,  to look in each other’s eyes and see the sameness there  ~  Yes ,  We are all one , even when we disagree  ;  Even when we are  criticizing ,  arguing  , fighting ... Yes , We are one .

( Internet news photo )