Mess

But I really don't know  ...  for I'm having such a difficult time with this right now ... 

Every emotion that surfaces ,  I seem to question , to doubt which I know I shouldn't even let it springs up in the first place .... But my frangibility has planted in my nerve ... one word out of place , one tone misunderstood and I fall to pieces ... I really don't know how to grant myself permission to feel anything these days . 

I sense the forthcoming break down and it frightens me to the core ....