Aging

Sure ,  I know that being young  does not mean anything coz no      matter how beautiful n wonderful you’re ,  you will end in the same  place with no exception  ~    yet growing old still terrifies me …

        
It’s all wonderful being eighteen  for there’re no real worries  ,  no  

        heavy burdens  ,  wearing mini  skit  ,  shaved my head like a boy , singing and dancing  …..  but all these gradually evanish  ~  it’s  like chasing a rainbow that is gently fading away into the place where all rainbows go  ~  fade away with everyone else who has lived all they can and must drift to where they belong ……

Heaven ?  I’m not sure if there’s such a possibility for me  ~  Sure it’s either up or down  ~  now I’m dangling hopelessly in between !!!!

All my life I’ve been looking for something extraordinary  ….  but my dream is withering  ,  my body  is withering  ,   in fact  ,  my entire life is withering  …. yet I still have no clue what the heck is it !  

I know for sure  I’ll never be able to find my soul mate  ~  and even if I find him ,  but if he dies before me  ,   I will juz end up being leaving behind like a forgotten piece of luggage … then gradually I become a wrinkled sack with not many words to say anymore but juz lying on a fluffy pillow in the hospital / nursing home and 

ppl around me juz see me as an empty shell   ~   hard to look at and boring to talk 

to ……