lost self

I've spent a lot of time in the past few weeks thinking about the woman I was  ~  in all the negative ways  ~  That led to a lot of regrets  ,  remorse  ,  and hurtful lessons ...

I kept thinking about times before this on going chaotic relationship ~ times that I had being alone (and comfortable) .... That made me long for those times gone by and hope they could be again ....

Only today have I remembered the woman I was  ,  in all my strength and ambition . I'm not sure if  that part of me is still there or already buried under all this pain stored from the past I never addressed and the present hurt of my circumstances ...

Maybe one day , that gal will be back ......  with a sacred wound to remind her of a love born and never to be forgotten  ...  but likely lost .....