Help !!!

I am frustrated with myself   ~   I feel like I am a judgmental hypocrite who is unloving and unkind . I seriously need to check myself . I never wanted to be this way . It is weird .

Sometimes ， I think I am fine ， I am a good person . And then there are times when I ask myself ... why ?  Why do you do the things you do ? Haven't you learned your lessons from the past ?

Yes ，I need to be more aware . The problem is that there are so many ppl ， things n situations that bring out the worst in me . I just can't let other ppl get to me . I need to LEARN how to be more loving and tolerant . I used to be . But as funny as it is ， the older I get ，the more intolerant I become !!!!!!! And if I was around myself a few years back ， I would have hated me ， because I was the kind of person I despise now . Maybe it's just that going through different things lately has helped me understand the bigger picture. And now ， I expect everyone to be on the same page . And I need to accept the fact that not everyone is where I am mentally .

 

I  believe I need to learn how to be a more loving individual . I hate this phase of condemning self-examination . I know I'm not perfect ~  FAAAAAAAAAAAR from it . But then this overwhelming sense of guilt just creeps over me and I'm stuck trying to determine what the hell I can do to be my old self again .

 

Someone  ~   HEEEEEELP !!!!!!!