Where I Am

I don't like how I feel nowadays …

I don't like how tears always well up in my eyes just waiting for the right moment to fall …

I don't like how I have such a heavy heart  ,  beating painfully and tiredly thru each waking day …

I don't like how many memories and thoughts come at the darkest hour of the nite  ,  reminding or putting sentences and phases in my head that I'd rather not think about … 

I don't like how my throat is always sore as if from crying even when I haven't cried yet …

I don't like how people constantly put me down not knowing how much it damages my self- esteem …

I don't like how I feel nowadays for no one seems to actually understand me  and  I have to put everything in my heart …