Every teardrop is a waterfall

While watching the rain outside ，am thinking about all the tears I’ve wasted in this lifetime ....

For years ， my heart has been a waterfall .  I have cried for all the wrong reasons . I used to cry because I didn’t understand how people could be so cruel to one another . Why they ignored  other people's boundaries . I cried because I couldn’t relate to their way of acting ruthless and arrogant  and I wish I could figure it out and not let it bother me as much . 

I have cried an ocean over people who never deserved my tears . I cried because of the loneliness I felt even when I was not alone  . The kind of loneliness that comes from their projections of who I should be  ， who I could be  ， ought to be  ， who they wanted me to be . The loneliness of feeling like everything I did was somehow wrong if I didn’t follow their beliefs . I cried because they made me feel like a guest in my own life， in my own body and mind  ~  Like ，who I am never really mattered . I have wasted so many tears while trying to figure out why they couldn’t see me ，even though my heart is always wide-open ....

The rain has stolen the last autumn leaves of the maple outside my    house . It’s standing there ，naked and bare  ~ which I feel just exactly the same within myself， as I am allowing my thoughts to touch sore places  ....  but without wasting a single tear anymore. 

Yup ，my tears are now sacred . I will never again waste any tears on the wrong things or people .... for they have turned into a river that takes me further than I’ve ever could imagine.