Wish upon a star

Last nite I woke up in the weird wee hours and couldn’t fall back to sleep. I lay there thinking about all the things I wanted to do and how long it might take to accomplish them all. And as I was thinking this I turned my head to look out the bay windows adjacent to my bed and at that moment a shooting star streaked across the night sky.
 
" Boom " as my grand nephew might say. There and then I decided it was an affirmation. In the past few years I have sometimes measured my life span in days. At my most optimistic I plan perhaps 6 months out ; in the absence of an effective therapy and at the rate my physical discomfort seems to grow ， that might be a reasonable projection.
 
Denial has never been my style. And yet…I am also a bit of a dreamer . To wit ~ when first diagnosed with the illness I understood only too well the odds that I faced with an overall five year survival statistic of 55%.  I have helped myself deal with this reality by picturing a bell curve in my mind’s eye I am waaaaay out on the end.

Literally I have now achieved outlier status and  living beyond my ‘expiration date’. However，due to the pernicious nature of my disease I am unable to relax. As I once said to a friend whose cancer had taken a turn for the worse， sometimes the thing that’s trying to kill you just keeps on trying !!!!
  
Last nite ，a shooting star gave me the courage to allow myself to believe that I could live another few months ..... I mean ，what’s the harm ? Even my future doesn't stretched before me like an ocean  ~ almost endless ，yet I am still blessed .... well … maybe not forever....