Keep on walking
The first half of my life was flat ， but it's EXTRAORDINARY for the second half .... sound a bit hyperbolic and yet ， in so many ways ， so very true .... EXTRAORDINARY becoz few years back I was diagnosed with a deadly illness and was told I had not many times left to live ....
And so ， I did what the dying do ~ Grieving as preparations began ....
No doubt ， life can be very strange and surprising . I never thought I’d be diagnosed with this terminal illness and facing death at the middle of nowhere . But the biggest surprise was yet to come....
After I refused ALL the treatment option to slow down the progression of the illness， I thot I would soon run out of time and only had months to live ....
Obviously ， I didn’t die yet and life has gone on . My youngest grand nephew was just born when I was diagnosed ， I didn't expect I had the immense privilege of hearing him called me great-aunt for the first time 2 years later . And he is 4 now and has just started his first year in kindergarten .
Yup ，It’s such an odd and unexpected paradigm — living with a terminal illness . The downsides are obvious ， yet I have learned to sit with uncertainty and I am no longer married to outcomes . I have become far more courageous ，even my fears ，anxiety and depression are still here ，but I always try to keep it at bay . Living certainlyhas had its challenges ， especially when facing death ..... yet I can truly say that I have never been any stronger !
For the first time since my mom has been passed away ， I am focusing on my own goals . Upon leaving my last relationship I opened my own workshop in Liberty Village ， a community of creatives . I call it the art dorm ，and my loft the art fort . I had my first solo art show earlier this year ，not a huge success .... It's just to say I’m on a creative roll . I also devote more time than ever volunteering ， with a focus on patient's support group and fund raising for medical research.
It’s all good . I liken this to loving / living life unconditionally ; I simply cannot be disappointed . Each new morning is opened like a present by surprise — a gift I simply couldn't ask for .
Perhaps it is this EXTRAORDINARY life incident that has sharpened both my perception and my appreciation . I refuse to waste a moment . And although I would prefer to not have such unbearable illness that is terminal ， I would wager that I am infinitely more alive than many who do not .