Walls

There’s a reason why my walls are built up high, and there’s a reason it will take ppl longer than expected to bring them down. There’s a reason why I’m guarded...

Guess we’ve all been hurt before , and I’m no exception.  I’ve mistakenly invested my trust in those who took it for granted, and because of their disregard, I no longer hand that trust out so easily. It’s always easier to forgive than forget ... so I carry the pain with me as a constant reminder that it could happen again. And while this is such a cautious way to walk thru life, while instead I could be wildly sprinting, the wild sprint has made me fall and trip before, and the scrapes and burns were painful ... So painful that it takes a while to try and run that fast again. So I walk, and I walk carefully noticing my surroundings coz I fear that if I were to ever fall that hard again, I might not be able to get back up.

Yup , I’m no stranger to failure, and while it has made me stronger, it has also made me more aware of all that can go wrong... I see the damage coming before it even happens . Some people might think how pessimistic, sad and stupid this all sounds, but even when I try to convince myself  that there are always exceptions , yet the reminder seeps back in constantly... guess it’s very much like a little girl fears the monster under her bed ...  so I  just keep building my wall  to avoid any disturbance , as experience told me ,  no one’s armor will ever protected myself as well as my own ... yup , not until someone shows me otherwise.