The healing journey
Months ago ，I thot I would never feel okay again ... I kept thinking at the back of my mind that I would not able to make it ， that I was exhausted of energy， that I was out of willpower， and that this was it .... this was the end of me ....
And yet I survived !!!
Sure dark thots are still running around in my mind ，and I am still feeling negative / lost or completely incapable....
No doubt ，healing is not always straightforward ，but more like a journey ... one that takes you thru so many bends and curves of life that you almost feel like you will never make it ，but somehow you do .... even you might wake up not feeling any different tmr ... it's just another day filled with the same numbness that you've lost your sense of happiness ....
Yup ，there is not a fixed point at which I ‘see the light’ or ‘come out the other side’，there are just a succession of MOMENTS where – in hindsight – I see myself getting stronger and better and happier. And often I clasp on to the negativity to such an extent that I think the positivity has faded away，even when something good happens ，I try very hard to remember the bad coz I think that something is wrong with me if I no longer think about it !!!