sinking ...

( image : Ottokim)

Once again the cycle begins ... broken， sad ，frustrated  ... when is it gonna stop ? Is there an end ? 

My brain shuts down with anxiety and heart races with panic ... I wanna run and hide myself from the world  ....  

How often I feel this lost，depressed but not knowing what the reason is.. maybe I am tired with this life，tired fighting it，tired trying to live it ，tired trying to make sense of it， tired trying to convince it ... tired ... tired ... drained and exhausted to the core ... I sit still and lost ，not knowing which way to move ahead .  I feel like losing all the senses one by one ， and I drown into the darkness ... I can’t breathe above the waters no more ... I let the wormhole suck me in ，deeper and deeper ... I sink ...  it feels so peaceful after all the chaos that I fight it no more ... Perhaps I have no strength or have already given up ... at least for now ，this is how it feels .. this is how it is ... it maybe wrong ...but feels right to me...